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Only the Unkempt are Allowed to Protest OR 7 Quick Tips for Fitting in at an Obama Event
By Rusty Shackleford | August 5, 2009
Wow. Just wow.
Somebody better inform Ms. Boxer that productive members of society actually take a little pride in their appearance.
I guess if you want to be taken seriously you have to play their game. Here are a few pointers for those of you who plan on protesting attending Obama’s visit to MT. You’ve got about a week to prepare, SO GET ON IT!!!1!
1.) Stop bathing immediately. This is an important first step…forcing normal folks to resort to mouth-breathing brings hippies much joy.
2.) Stop eating anything with a face. Only roughage will do! Gotta be able to pull off the living-brain/brain-dead/self-inflicted zombification that so many healthy Progressives inflict upon themselves. This will lead to the perfect glassy-eyed, “where am I?”-look that true Progressives flaunt.
3.) Stop shaving. Ladies, this applies to your legs and mustaches…men, it’s time to grow that shaggy beard as to appear Christ-like.
4.) Men: you must grow ponytails. Women: you must either cut your hair to the length of a Marine Corp Sergeant OR allow it grow long and unhealthy with the general appearance of a rat’s nest.
5.) Purchase Search local dumpsters for footwear without laces…preferably neon-colored Crocs. If no Crocs can be procured, grab a pair of worn out Birkenstocks so as to show off your nasty piggies.
6.) Shorts are preferable (see tip #3), but if not, be sure to hit the thrift shops and grab yourself some high-water pants. Men: don’t forget your mom-jeans.
7.) This last one is crucial: All shirts must be either tye-dyed, earthy-brown, green OR sport the image of Che Guevara.
If you follow these tips, you should end up looking like this…
Seriously?! Superman was only 30 years ago, which would put her at about 60…WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO LOIS LANE?!?!
Even if you don’t look this rugged hot after following my suggestions, you’ll be welcomed to the Obama event. At least until you start asking questions.
H/T: Hot Air
That is all.
Topics: Shut Up Hippie, Socialism, Bozeman, Healthcare, Society and Culture, Zombie Apocalypse, Barack Obama, Stupid things the Left does/says, Montana |
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